Everyone meet, Dick…

Everyone meet, Dick…

“Opinions are like assholes and everybody has one.”

I am sure everyone has encountered an individual who is hell bent on sharing “advice” pointing out how wrong you are either in your own opinions or the way you do something.  There are so many in this world who cannot possibly fathom a grey area existing and will argue or lecture for hours if permitted to make you see that their way is -in fact- the right way.

Fellow Scatterbrains I would like to introduce you to, Dick.  He has opinions…so many opinions and he will not be ignored.  In Dick’s opinion you are either right (agreeing with him) or wrong (disagreeing) and there is no “agree to disagree” with Dick…oh no.  He will argue his case until the very last breath falls from his lungs, he is blue in the face, and is feeling heart palpitations. -Don’t die, Dick-

You see…

Dick has a perfect life and you can tell it by his mid-grade desk job, his stick figure mini-van family, and his semi-awesome house that he has problems paying for…  On the surface he is a respected, Dick, always sharing his insight with others like-minded to him and happily maintaining a blind existence to anything other than his normal, average, everyday life of working in his cubicle and then returning home for Monday night football and a 12 pack with “the boys”.

dicksfamily

Dick is so incredibly proud of who he is that he also feels he should talk to, instruct, and give advice to those he feels are lesser than him -but- he only offers his two cents.  Usually his advice is posted indirectly on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media outlet with a large audience of like-minded dicks who will throw the likes onto the board agreeing with his garble.  His famous quote this week is,

“I don’t understand lazy people who wont work.  Just get off your ass and get a job.”

Well, Dick!  You may be getting applauded by other closed minded individuals but do you realize that those of us who do not answer are looking at your post and thinking about how big of a pompous asshole you are?  I mean, yeah, it’s a free country.  You are protected and it is your right to make yourself look like a complete idiot if you so choose to posses that characteristic, but do you?  Really?  You choose this image for yourself?  What would Jesus think, Dick?  -tsk tsk-

Dick has a desk job and the power to hire as well as fire people.  He is the boss.  Dick has pull -pun intended- but he never uses his powers for good.  You see…it is easy for him to make such comments on the intronets and never ever think about repercussions for his actions because Dick doesn’t care that those underneath him have feelings.  After-all those who don’t work are lazy and to Dick…they don’t deserve his sympathy.

The reality is that there are so many people in this world who are just like Dick.  They spout off opinions on what you are, who you are, and who they think you are without a second thought that they may just be wrong about the person they are passing judgment upon.  The worst part about this is that dicks offer said opinions without offering up any kind of substantial advice or solution.  In other words the Dicks of the world just want to spew word vomit from the throat, to the mouth, and out of the lips in an effort to hear themselves speak.

Dick offers absolutely nothing to this world but an opinion…and….we all have them.

The lesson in this post is to spend less time judging others…like a Dick…and more time loving and understanding others…

❤ Scatter

 

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Turning my brown thumb, green…

Image and project inspiration gathered from www.pinkwhen.com

Image and project inspiration gathered from www.pinkwhen.com

I have a confession to make!  I, Ms. Scatterbrained, have a brown thumb.

Year after year I try to grow plants and year after year I fail.  Maybe it is my lack of knowledge…  Maybe I water them too much or too little, but, every year something happens to cause my poor victims to die.  It is like I am instant death to all things green!

Cursed!  To live out my days wondering if I will ever make it through a season with happy little trees.

-I say with a balled up dramatic shaking fist in the air.-

I’ve succeeded once (until my male cat came into manhood and sprayed my green beauty) in growing a beautiful vining houseplant that sat proudly on-top of my entertainment center and wrapped around the sides as if to wave hello to all of my visitors who came in.  It was the top of most conversations and people would compliment how beautiful it was.  My mother-in-law gave me that plant and I was incredibly proud to see it survive my horrid plant-care ways!

After my precious passed away -don’t look at me like that- I found that no other plant would ever live to fight another day if my hands had touched them.  Though I was positively convinced that I possessed the hands of doom…  I tried again with upside-down hanging tomatoes (not Topsy Turvy, more like hanging basket with a hole in the bottom) an idea given to me -again- by my mother-in-law.  The tomato plants grew into mighty mighty plants with amazing fruit on them!  They gave us red tomatoes and green tomatoes through the beginning month of their existence and offered a beautiful view from our second story balcony for passersby to stop and admire.

When our apartment lease was up the following month we made the decision not to renew and to move to Georgia because my mother had fallen ill having complications with her blood pressure…

No problem, right?  They weren’t planted into the ground…all we had to do was pick them up and hang them in the van…for….12 hours…..beating them into submission on a long car ride from West Tennessee to Southeast Georgia.  Not to mention the change in climate from hot and humid to hot and dry and in direct line of fire with the sun baking down on top of them everyday.  Within a week…my poor tomatoes had met their grave.

If it isn’t one thing…it’s another with plants and me.  My lack of skills in the gardening department became so bad that I couldn’t even keep a cactus or a bamboo plant alive for longer than a week or (if I’m lucky) two weeks and if there were a plant protection organization out there like PITA for animals.  I would be in trouble!  Like…life in prison trouble for plant abuse!  At very least…they would probably burn poop in bags on the front porch or throw Miracle Grow on me in retaliation for my plant murdering ways.

Even though I have absolutely no business behind a pair of gardening tools; my brain will not allow me to simply give up trying and move onto something I am more skilled at doing well.  I simply cannot give up and admit that I have a permanent brown thumb and for the last week it has been my personal mission to endure the hard work of researching and making preparations to build a vertical planter out of recycled pallets to -once again- plant another garden of unfortunate plants.  Herbs to be exact!

Depending on my luck…

I will be documenting my success/failure in a series of gardening adventures.  WOOHOO!

Updates soon to come!

❤ Ms. Scatter.