I have a confession to make! I, Ms. Scatterbrained, have a brown thumb.
Year after year I try to grow plants and year after year I fail. Maybe it is my lack of knowledge… Maybe I water them too much or too little, but, every year something happens to cause my poor victims to die. It is like I am instant death to all things green!
Cursed! To live out my days wondering if I will ever make it through a season with happy little trees.
-I say with a balled up dramatic shaking fist in the air.-
I’ve succeeded once (until my male cat came into manhood and sprayed my green beauty) in growing a beautiful vining houseplant that sat proudly on-top of my entertainment center and wrapped around the sides as if to wave hello to all of my visitors who came in. It was the top of most conversations and people would compliment how beautiful it was. My mother-in-law gave me that plant and I was incredibly proud to see it survive my horrid plant-care ways!
After my precious passed away -don’t look at me like that- I found that no other plant would ever live to fight another day if my hands had touched them. Though I was positively convinced that I possessed the hands of doom… I tried again with upside-down hanging tomatoes (not Topsy Turvy, more like hanging basket with a hole in the bottom) an idea given to me -again- by my mother-in-law. The tomato plants grew into mighty mighty plants with amazing fruit on them! They gave us red tomatoes and green tomatoes through the beginning month of their existence and offered a beautiful view from our second story balcony for passersby to stop and admire.
When our apartment lease was up the following month we made the decision not to renew and to move to Georgia because my mother had fallen ill having complications with her blood pressure…
No problem, right? They weren’t planted into the ground…all we had to do was pick them up and hang them in the van…for….12 hours…..beating them into submission on a long car ride from West Tennessee to Southeast Georgia. Not to mention the change in climate from hot and humid to hot and dry and in direct line of fire with the sun baking down on top of them everyday. Within a week…my poor tomatoes had met their grave.
If it isn’t one thing…it’s another with plants and me. My lack of skills in the gardening department became so bad that I couldn’t even keep a cactus or a bamboo plant alive for longer than a week or (if I’m lucky) two weeks and if there were a plant protection organization out there like PITA for animals. I would be in trouble! Like…life in prison trouble for plant abuse! At very least…they would probably burn poop in bags on the front porch or throw Miracle Grow on me in retaliation for my plant murdering ways.
Even though I have absolutely no business behind a pair of gardening tools; my brain will not allow me to simply give up trying and move onto something I am more skilled at doing well. I simply cannot give up and admit that I have a permanent brown thumb and for the last week it has been my personal mission to endure the hard work of researching and making preparations to build a vertical planter out of recycled pallets to -once again- plant another garden of unfortunate plants. Herbs to be exact!
Depending on my luck…
I will be documenting my success/failure in a series of gardening adventures. WOOHOO!
Updates soon to come!
❤ Ms. Scatter.